I am getting so tired of the country I was born in. I can not get proper medical care from my own country. The United States continues to persecute me and the medical system is a complete fail. I don’t want to suffer another day in this cruel country. The people who make fun of me and my HIV is getting old. I literally suffer from severe depression and anxiety because of how people reject me and make fun of me for being a human being. I did not choose to be depressed nor did I choose to be stuck in this shit hole. Even money will not give me what I desire. I would do anything to trade places with someone in Finland that has a resident permit. I literally could be having fun and happiness if I was given even a year to live in Finland. I wish there would be someone out there that would give me that opportunity to be able to work there. Is there anyone who wants a gay guy that has a heart full of love? Is there anyone out there that cares more than how much money I make and whats in my bank account? I honestly want that chance in life to have my happiness. I am tired of crying myself to sleep every night and stuck in this situation. Everyday I continue to give kindness to everyone around me. I am also worthy of being loved in this world and I should have the same opportunities others have to spend time in Finland and reside there. I am going back to Finland in October to celebrate my birthday a week before Halloween. I can only hope that my miracle will present itself this time around. It is so hard to feel happy for someone else having the time of their lives while I am behind here feeling the rejection in my own area. I rather be dead then to come back to America and I am tempted to give up the pain when I arrive.