I guess people just don’t care about me enough to make a commitment. I didn’t ask for any of the issues I deal with. I just want one fucking opportunity to be able to live in happiness. Is it too much to ask to be given even one year abroad and an opportunity to be in Europe? I dream of living in Finland and to have my happiness. I am afraid the only option I have to end my suffering is to end the pain and give up living another day. I do not know why anyone should have to suffer in the way that I do. I should have the ability to have happiness and security just like everyone else. I really feel like there is nothing left to keep fighting for. I just have nothing left to keep going for anymore. I do not want to have to leave Finland but there is never a miracle for people like me. It’s the people in United Shits of Assholes that is the hugest problem. A country that is full of the most downright nasty diseased people that are all in it for themselves. The medical in America sucks and they are slowly killing me. I am told by doctors I deserve to live in pain and then am left with no recourse for my health. I really do not want to continue to live in a country where being disabled is a crime and that they have to continue to suffer.