I am hurting and griefing so much as I have lost my Congo African Grey named Wicker. He was the joy of my life and would cheer me up when I was all alone and now I have nothing left. I can not even be in Finland where I also felt happy. I am lost without my feathered companion and I can not afford to replace him with another African Grey as I am on disability. I am crying so much from the abrupt loss to my baby it’s not the same waking up not hearing him speaking and whistling. He died of heart disease and intestine cancer. With the COVID-19 pandemic going on in this world I have suffered greatly and lost the closest companion in my life. This decade I hope will come to an end soon enough as the pain is not getting any better.

I am saying goodbye to the pain the suffering the inability to have what I need. I am always denied everything that makes me happy. I can not get decent health care. I am unable to be able to live in Europe which would solve the majority of my problems. I need safety and need medical care but that is not a fundamental right in America. I can not even afford to get on an ankle monitor as I am too poor. I can not even have someone that loves me in America. I get played with for 6+ months by a person in Finland and no one does anything to help. People are too fucking self-conceited to actually help someone in need. I wish I could be locked up in a prison cell and happy. I wish I could be like those on the show 60 Days In as they have it made and get to experience what I want. I can not get back to Finland where I am the happiest I had ever been in years. Is there anyone in this world who wants me.