Freedom from pain!

Why is it so difficult to have the freedom from pain. I know so many people who are living happy lives in life in comparison. The inmates are all having there freedom from pain and getting everything handed to them on a gold platter. They are so ungrateful and it hurts me so much that others want to judge what my needs are. I did not ask to be born into such a vile culture or selfish punks. I want to leave the United Shits of Assholes as soon as financially possible, as I would have a better life with my husband in comparison to what I put up with people here that treat me like garbage. I hate having to wake up every morning feeling like a complete an utter failure for existing in this world. I wish I was given the needs to survive and be happy. I keep waiting for a decision to be able to move abroad to be with the one I married in Finland. I am so sick and tired of people treating me like shit. I deserve freedom from pain and suffering and to have the confinement needs that I so deeply need. My prayers are never going to be answered and the need for confinement is getting stronger day by day as I feel all alone stuck in this hell hole of United Shits of Assholes. I am looking forward to the day I can have feedom from pain and to be incarcerated like others are inside jail.
Inmates are some of the most luckiest people in the world. I envy how they have freedom from the pain of living in such a disgusting society. I would be so happy the day that I can be arrested and taken into custody. I wish that I was able to trade places with the ungrateful inmates in this country. They get everything they need and me I have to fight everyday without the JAIL Therapy I need to live my life. I deserve to have my freedom given to me that is found inside a jail cell. Everyday gets worse and I am loosing my health without the ability to have the amenities that are found inside jail. I wish that I was lucky to have a cop put me in handcuffs and transport me into a jail cell. I want to go thru intake and experience the happy feeling of getting a mugshot and fingerprinted. I want to be put into that holding cell and stripped of my identity down to a number. I want to be given those jail clothes and the thin jail mattress they provided and taken to my cell. I would be so happy being given some fucking structure in life even if I have multiple cellmates. Least when I’m inside a jail cell I will finally have freedom from pain. I wish dreams came true in life and that I was sitting inside a jail cell its all I fucking want right now. Instead I get made fun of for my needs and told by cops, doctors, and others that I should just end my life. Why is this the answer to someone because they are different? What gives them the right to not help me and give me the therapy that I fucking need in life? Try doing something for someone that can make a difference in their life.  Please can someone help me get put inside a jail cell for real instead of baiting me non stop. I deserve to have my happiness in life.

wearing ankle monitors