Society has hurt me for far to long and making me suffer inhumane and cruel torture and it must stop. The longer that I have to suffer, the longer I do not want to have to be living for. There are so many things that I wish that could be fixed but I remain unemployable in a country that treats immigrants like complete and utter garbage. Trying to find a job is like trying to win a lottery and is rigged from the get go. I am exhausted and ready to be living a life of torture and confinement. I rather be beaten and used then to be free on the outside with no ability to have a distraction in my life. Things would be better if I was locked up in a prison cell tonight. I am tired of being a failure in society and if someone was to kill me I would never be missed and thats the saddest reality. I often wish I was dead, though, because then I wouldn’t have to exist. I wish someone would actually fall through on their promises of confinement instead of leading my hopes up. It’s quite disgusting how a society could deny something so simple and that exists for the ones they reject in society.
Telling someone that they should just go home when they live in a country that has made sure they do not have any income to ever leave is like telling a person that they should just be left for dead on the side of a road. I literally am on a disability pension from the country I have left. I would end up homeless if I leave the abusive relationship in which I live in. I am not understood by society but yet they do not do anything to make it better. I want to be controlled that is the ultimate freedom in life as I hate making decisions every single day. I wish that I did not have to live in a country that does not value me as a person because the cruelty that Finland continues to do is getting so old. I keep applying for jobs and keep getting rejected and am burnt out without an opportunity to make life better. I am fighting for what reason when people say go kill yourself and that your useless it makes no sense. Why would you be willing to give inmates the help that I need and then say prison is full even though I am the criminal?
So please if there is anyone out there that has connections with the police to have me arrested and put into a prison cell right now I would be so grateful. I need confinement asap so please get me inside a cell.
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