About PrisonDude: Embracing Confinement as Freedom

A picture of the author wearing a pair of overalls and a heavy steal parus bondage collar.

Since I was young, I’ve dreamed of escaping a life that feels like a constant struggle. As someone who is gay and disabled, the world has never made space for me to feel truly at home. Add to that the stigma of living with HIV, and relationships often feel impossible. The rejection feels endless, a constant reminder that, to many, I am seen as “less than.”

People tell me to “just get over it” or “take medication” for the pain I’m feeling—medication that doesn’t even exist for this kind of suffering. How do you medicate a lifetime of rejection, loneliness, and being misunderstood? How do you medicate the feeling of being trapped in a world that doesn’t hear you?


Why Confinement as Freedom Feels Right for Me

In pursuit of happiness, I moved to Finland, believing it to be the sanctuary I’ve always longed for. But starting over has only made things harder. Building a life from scratch in a place that feels so close to freedom, yet remains out of reach, is an entirely new kind of struggle. Despite the beauty and safety I see around me, I’m still waiting for the sense of belonging that feels so elusive.

I know what I need to find peace. Confinement as Freedom is not just a concept—it is my ultimate truth. A jail cell, a space where I can feel safe, secure, and free from societal pressures, is the happiness I yearn for. The safety of confinement gives me a sense of control, offering a version of freedom that the outside world has never provided.

For me, Confinement as Freedom is about more than physical space; it’s about mental clarity. The isolation of a concrete cell, with its structure and security, helps me feel healthier and more at peace than anything else ever could.


 How Confinement as Freedom Shapes My Journey

Still, so many dismiss my truth, claiming they know better. “You don’t need confinement,” they say. “Just be grateful you’re alive.” But I’m not living—I’m surviving in a world that doesn’t understand me. I’ve shared my story and my needs for years, and I’m still waiting for someone who truly hears me, someone who can make my dream a reality.

Confinement as Freedom is not a sentiment everyone can understand, but for me, it represents a chance to reclaim my happiness and find true belonging.

Until then, I’ll keep sharing my journey through my posts. There’s so much more to learn about PrisonDude—my pain, my truth, and my hope for a life that finally feels like my own.