I am getting ready to give up trying to maintain the health that I have. I would rather die of AIDS than to prolong life with HIV meds. Society doesn’t want happiness for me. If society wanted me to exist then I would have been locked up in a jail cell by now. I can not handle working a job and going to school. I only do these things to distract the need for incarceration. These things can not do this for any longer and I am hoping I will pass away soon. I do not know what happiness is anymore. I have cried so many days and so many nights. I can not even have that special someone in my life. I am 30 years old and have lived way too long and have been judged for way to long. I did not ask to need a jail cell for happiness and it does not make me fucked up for needing one. I crave the simplicity in life that people sitting in jail have had for decades. All the people having all sorts of fun inside hurts me even more. I have begged cops to do their fucking jobs but they rather tell me I should kill myself or to commit tons of crimes. I have the right to happiness just like everyone else. I am not asking for something that difficult or impossible. I am asking to be inside a jail cell sleeping like many innocent people are. I would trade places with any inmate any day. I would love to be sleeping inside jail at this very second. Is there anyone out there that could make it happen as I am to poor to afford pay for stays.

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