Moving abroad was supposed to be the step forward for me and the chance for new opportunities as well as a fresh start. However, instead of building a better life, I find myself trapped in an endless cycle of struggle, rejection, and survival. Every day I am constantly reminded of what I have lost and how impossible it feels to move forward. I never imagined leaving the U.S. would make life harder, yet this has become my unfortunate reality.
The Harsh Reality of Employment in Finland
Finding work in the U.S. was never this difficult as recruiters often would hound me to death for positions I never would think I could qualify for. Even during the economic downturns, I have often found the way to find the employment I need and would often only be unemployed on my own choice. Where as in the contrary, Finland has made securing a job feel like an impossible lottery to win. Employers are constantly failing to recognize my education, dismissing both my Bachelor of Arts in Film Production and my Associate of Science in Cybersecurity & Networking. The years of experience that I have gained in customer service also means nothing simply because they weren’t earned in Finland. The lack of entry level positions to also make finding a job a never-ending chore.
Determined to succeed, I have done everything possible which include trying to learn Finnish, as well as returning to school for a third degree in Business IT & Cybersecurity, networking, and applying endlessly to job listings. Yet, nothing has changed no matter what I have tried and done. More than two years have passed without a single job offer. In this system, those who weren’t born into it remain overlooked and undervalued, no matter how hard they try. There is the problem of xenophobia within the hiring market as well. The facts that foreign talent does not matter in the context of value to a corporation.
The Cost of Survival
Back in the U.S., I had access to basic necessities. Prescriptions were affordable, medical care was within reach, and therapy was an option. Even small joys, like owning a motorcycle, were financially possible.
Now, however, I struggle just to cover essential needs. While Finland’s healthcare system receives international praise, it fails people like me. The 633€ yearly deductible alone consumes more than two-thirds of my monthly income, making it impossible to afford the medications I need to function. As a result, I am left wondering—how can someone like me survive under these conditions? A nation that prides itself on equality should not abandon those who need help the most. I have to be enrolled in a university just to get money to pay for the prescriptions which adds undue stress when in reality I should have a good paying job.
Prison Offers More Than Freedom Ever Has
For years, I have battled PTSD, anxiety, and depression. Unfortunately, living under these circumstances has only intensified my struggles. In Finland, the therapy that is needed remains inaccessible, and mental health support is nearly nonexistent. Each morning, I wake up feeling like I’m screaming into a void which I feel ignored, unseen, and unheard. The lack of studies for people who have been locked in a basement as a kid makes life even harder. I feel that there is a solution but no one will do anything to make it happen.
Yet, inmates in Finnish prisons have more access to healthcare, therapy, and structure than I do. Finland’s prison system prioritizes rehabilitation over punishment, offering inmates resources that struggling residents could only dream of. Prisoners receive:
✔️ A safe, stable environment – no fear of eviction, homelessness, or financial ruin.
✔️ Three meals a day – never wondering where their next meal will come from.
✔️ Regular access to therapy – mental health care that is unavailable to struggling citizens.
✔️ Employment within prison – work opportunities that provide structure and a sense of purpose.
✔️ Education and skills training – a chance to learn and grow, rather than be discarded by society.
✔️ Social connections – a system that recognizes their humanity, while people like me are left isolated.
Meanwhile, I fight every day just to survive. The irony of the situation is unbearable whereas prisoners are given the very things I need to function but have been denied. Finland ensures that those who break the law receive structure, therapy, and support, while those who struggle to fit into the system are cast aside. How is this justice?
Prison as a Safe Haven for PTSD
Living with PTSD is like being in a constant state of survival mode I am always on the edge, always waiting for something to go wrong in which it often happens. Being constantly judged and denied the real help that I need. Stability, structure, and routine are essential for recovery. Yet, those things are impossible to achieve when every day is a battle just to afford food, housing, and medical care.
In prison, PTSD treatment is built into the system. Therapy is available, medications are covered, and the environment is controlled and predictable which is a crucial factor for aiding of trauma recovery. There are no unexpected financial crises, no anxiety about unemployment, no fear of losing everything overnight, and no stress of making never ending decisions which are overwhelming. The basic needs that many often take for granted such as shelter, food, and medical care which are guaranteed behind bars, while people like me are generally left to fend for themselves. Having to be disabled does not afford the same opportunities that others can do.
At this point, I have to ask: Is prison truly the punishment, or is it freedom that has failed me?
Pleading for a Way Out
At this point, I no longer have the strength to keep fighting. Every day serves as another reminder that, in the eyes of society, I am not good enough. No matter how much effort I put in, I continue to be overlooked and unwanted. I have tried to find help in the community with no success. Even the BDSM community rejects me which I find revolting so why can I not be locked up with those who do not fit in with society.
I need the help as well as the stability and therapy found on the inside. And if the only way to access those things is inside a prison cell, then perhaps that is my only option but why do we need to make my life continue to suffer because you can not understand the issues of someone else.
More than anything, I just want someone to see me, help me, and care. Because right now, it feels like no one does.
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